Blog The Soul

What's for lunch?

A few weeks ago, I recall walking out of the office and pausing for quite some time outside our front door trying to figure out what I wanted for lunch. It was an average day at the office, nothing special. I just didn't know what I wanted for lunch. It wasn't before long that I concluded there wasn't enough choice. For some reason, I felt like I didn't have many options and even if I did, most of them didn't appeal to me, even though I work right in the heart of Sydney's business district.

Thirsty? Have a drink

A few days later I was going through some old photos, organising them on my computer and I came across this picture I took in Japan a few years ago:

It's a photo of some vending machines in Kyoto. To be precise, it's a photo of six different drink vending machines. Six, that's right. Just doing a quick count, your average vending machine holds around ten different types of drinks. So that would mean you had a total of more than sixty different options to quench your thirst.

I remember thinking "sixty drink options?! are you serious!" - how many options do you need?!

I'm such a hypocrite

Well, I worked out that that near my office I have more than sixty food options, all within a walking distance. Assuming the average place had roughly ten different lunch options on their menu, that meant within a kilometre from my office I had more than six hundred different meals to choose from.... six hundred options for lunch!

...and a fool

For some reason I felt frustrated that I had no food options for lunch. I felt like I didn't have enough to choose from. My brain equated that the more choice I had, the happier I'd be and maybe the easier the decision would be. 

I cast my mind back to a trip I made a couple of years ago to India. The children at the orphanage I visted were the happiest in the world, yet ate the same thing almost every day for 365 days of the year.

The paradox of choice

Barry Schwartz is a Psychologist who has done a bit of research on this. He published a book titled "The Paradox of Choice - Why More Is Less" and gave a Ted talk about this topic a few years ago. If you've got 20 minutes, I'd highly recommend watching it: 

Schwartz tackles a western thought which goes something like this: "The way to maximize the welfare of our citizens, is through maximizing individual freedom. The way to maximize freedom is to maximize choice". In reverse you could say, " The more choice people have, the more freedom people have, the more freedom they have, the more welfare they have".

Now, there are obviously many benefits for having choice. However, Schwartz argues we've gone well passed the mark of how much choice we should have. We've gone so far past this mark that we are at the point where choice causes negative effects on us.

In brief, his conclusions are:

1. Excessive choice produces paralysis, rather than liberation.
2. And, if we manage to overcome the paralysis and make a choice, we end up less satisfied with the choice we've made. 

   Why? "The more options there are, the easier it is regret anything at all that is disappointing about the option you just choose".

Final thoughts 

I think it was a chicken schnitzel sandwich. That's what I ended up having for lunch. It was pretty nice.  

While I may not be able to do much to change the wealth of choice that we have, there is much I can do in my own attitute.  I need to learn to appreciate the choice that we have. We are very blessed with the amount of choice that we have in our society. Not just for food, but in education, clothes, where we live and even what career we choose. Many people living in this world don't have choice in any of those things.

A very wise man once said we should give thanks in everything that we do. Developing a grateful attitude towards everything in life would go a long way in helping me deal with the wealth of choice.

I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.

- Martin Luther King Jr.

Before starting a new job earlier this year, I had some time off and went to India and a few other places around the World. At India we volunteered at the Worlds largest orphanage (not sure about how true this is - but thats what we were told), with roughly 2,000 children. This orphanage is in Salem, India. Salem is a 'small' city in a state named Tamil Nadu. Salem has a population of roughly two million - and when you stay there for over two weeks - believe me, you feel like you have seen two million people.

About the orphanage

The orphanage is called the "Indian Christian Mission Centre" (or ICMC).

People often ask me how the children end up in the orphanage. It varies. Sometimes parents can't afford to keep the child so they will often leave them at the orphanage. Other times a homeless child or a child whose carers have passed away will just arrive at the orphanage. We met this girl that was dropped off at the orphanage at six months - left at the doorstep, with a small note saying "Please call her …" (with her Hindu name) - no reason why, no background, no history - nothing.

The orphanage was founded in 1988 by an orphan. He has a house where western people (like us!) come and stay from all over the World. The house caters for around 10-15 people. The orphanage has grown from 12 orphans to around 2,000 orphans today.
 

ICMC's ultimate goal is to be self-sufficient. This is very hard - given their position in society as well as the growing demand for orphan care. When I spoke to the founder I asked him what his biggest challenge was, "To become self-sufficient" he said. Over half their funds come from overseas supporters - and this is a big dependency for them. All it takes is a few donors to pull out for the children to go without food.

How they are trying to break the cycle

This is very hard. You don't realise how hard it is till you get there and you hear all the stories of corruption, struggles, in-fighting and disagreements between the people of Salem. Add to this the cultural implications of being an orphan or being born in a different caste and it is very hard. Yes - the caste system is still alive today. In saying all this, it's really encouraging to see the progress they have made and the passion many in the community display to help their own people.

The first thing they have done is built schools. The orphanage owns several schools in town. In these schools both orphan and non-orphan children attend. The idea here is that non-orphan students pay fees, whilst the orphan students are sponsored by the orphanage. The profit that comes from these schools goes back into the schools - to hire more teachers, purchase equipment as well as building other schools. Not only so, but the money also goes to sponsoring more children to come out of the orphanage into a proper education system. This system seems to be going quite well and has picked up some momentum. I heard many stories where orphan children would finish school and come back and work there as teachers - which is really exciting to see.

Beyond schools the orphanage also runs training for young adults in computers, science, English and arts. The orphanage also runs a Bible college where some train to become ministers. When we just left, the founder was attempting to get a nursing collage setup - last I heard he had a lot of hurdles to climb to get this set up.

The orphanage also tries to farm as much of its own food as possible. Feeding a lot of children is always a challenge.

What did we do there?

Well - not much really other than playing with Children! There are a lot of kids there, ranging from month-old babies to children who are near finishing high-school to young adults studying there.

Our average day? Wake up, get on a 2-hour bus trip to the orphanage, play with children, come back, eat, sleep - thats it. On some days we took some classes teaching English (yes, even with my grammar!) and I shared some basic computer stuff with some of the mature-age students.

On one of the days we decided to take some of the children out for a treat. We took 50 children on a bus all the way to one of the "most expensive" places to eat in Salem. You should have seen the face on the restaurant owners when these westerners walked in with 50 orphan children, mostly with no shoes on - it was pretty amusing. For most of the children, this was the first time they had ever eaten in a restaurant. How much did it cost to feed 50 people at an expensive place in Salem? Well, lets say it worked out to be under five Australian dollars per head - with a generous tip.

There were a whole bunch of people form the UK that were also visiting the orphanage while we were there so we played lots of cricket - it was usually "India VS rest of the world" !

The orphanage also gave rice to people who had leprosy and the homeless once every couple of weeks. We helped out with this. I probably found this to be the toughest part of our trip. Below is a photo of me and Babo. A homeless man who is losing his fingers to leprosy.

So how was it?

It was heart-wrenching. You realise how rich you are and how good you've got it… why? Just because you happened to be born somewhere else in the world where you have tonnes of opportunities.

All the children get super excited to see a foreigner. They jump all over you. You literally have 10-20 kids follow you around all day and hang all over your arms and legs. They want to feel loved. They want to be hugged. They feel special to have someone travel all the way across the world to tell them they

are loved. It's pretty amazing. You are an uncle to 2,000 kids… "uncle uncle…." is all you hear for about eight hours of the day.

You also see what happiness truly is. You walk into their rooms. Around 20 kids sleep in one room. On the floor. They all have two outfits (or most of them do), and a box with their life belongings. This usually contains a ball - maybe a pair of shoes and some clothes or a hat. These kids are happy - and they have nothing. This world tells you that the more you have, the happier you are. Theres always this need to find yourself wanting more...More money, more clothes, more choice..... This kids have literatly nothing.

Would I go back?

A lot of people ask me if I'd go back. I usually respond with "it depends". If I were to go back to use my specific skills in an area of teaching or training - I'd go back. However, I wouldn't go back for the experience - I couldn't bring myself to. After seeing how little these children have. I look at the cost of my flights, accommodation and realise I'm far better off donating this. But that's just me. I worked out the other day that one regular coffee from my usual coffee place down the road can feed three children for a day… crazy!

I find myself spending an incredible amount of time on the web. My work, my hobby and keeping up to date with friends and family. The web is pretty awesome, its booming, it's exciting and it's only going to get bigger and bigger - exponentially, but is my spiritual life?

I’ve decided to create this blog to share reflections on stuff beyond the web. Today instead of saying the obligatory geek “Hello World”, today I say “Hello Soul”, because what good is it if a man profits the Interwebz but looses his soul?